Search by Word or Phrase  Go!

I don't drink all the time. But when I do I can't help but think about what happened. I get emotional and breakdown. I don't know what to do. What can I do?

Dear Friend,

I totally understand. I didn't drink all the time either as I worked during the day. I tried to hide my feelings of guilt and shame behind my alcohol. It never worked. I always cried, got mad, broke down, lashed out or any number of other reactions. I didn't understand why. I never made the connection between my drinking and my abortions.

It sounds like you've taken a very big first step in recognizing some sort of connection between your drinking and "what happened." And, you're asking for help.

I would suggest two things -- try not drinking at all for 60 or 90 days. If you can do that on your own, great. If you have trouble doing that, maybe check out AA. During this period of time when you're not drinking, attend a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat for healing. I would suggest not going on a retreat if you're still drinking; the alcohol could cloud your healing.

To find AA in your area, go to They list meetings there.

To find Rachel's Vineyard in your area go to

Please write back in if you have other questions, or need some support.


Can you recomend a Catholic Drug Rehab. Have substance abuse to xanax and vicodin. Need help. Have had an abortion in past.

Dear Jamie,

I'm sorry to hear about your addiction and your past abortion. The two may definitely be related. As for a Catholic rehab, I don't know of any off hand. What rehab to suggest would depend a lot on where you are located.

I wonder if you have tried NA. They are a 12-step program for drug addiction. They are usually listed in the phone book under Narcotics Anonymous, or possibly in the yellow pages under drug rehab. You can also check online at: They have a section for finding meetings.

After my abortions, my drinking and drugging got much worse. I know that in my life I wanted to blot out the shame and guilt from my abortions with anything I could. I finally did get sober and was able then, eventually, to deal with my abortions.

I wish you courage and peace as you face the drug abuse and your abortion. Life does get different and better.

God Bless,

Susan Swander

How do you think taking LSD, a hit of crack, and weed all at the same time would go over? And then maybe throw in some heroin for good measure?

Your questions sound pretty angry. I'm sorry if you're hurting. Whether it's the drugs you've listed or a good ole bottle of vodka, whoever is indulging is trying to hide from some sort of pain.

Taking drugs or drinking may kill the pain in the short term, but it won't fix the underlying problem, especially if the underlying problem is a past abortion.

I know from my own experience that the drugs and booze won't fix any problem.

If your question was serious, please feel free to write again. If you're just trying to have some sarcastic "fun" on a post abortion healing web site, I'll pray for you.

God Bless.

Thank you for offering your website and mission in helping abortion trauma. As a NYS credentialed substance abuse counselor I have female clients in recovery from alcohol and drugs but who also carry the multiple issues related to having had an abortion. I need a double-edged sword to help battle both fronts because I realize that in trying to treat the addiction aspect I must also deal with the abortion shame/guilt; however, I'm ill-euipped in this particular area. Including books, videos, etc., where else can I gain an insight to educate myself? Thank you for any assistance you may be able to provide.
Wm. Peter Smith, CASAC

Dear Mr. Smith,

Thank you for your inquiry. I'm glad to hear that you are dealing with the alcohol/drug issue in conjunction with the abortion issues. In my own healing from my abortions, I've discovered how closely tied to my drinking my abortions were. The two went hand-in-hand.

Probably the best resource I can suggest is Theresa Burke's book, Forbidden Grief. There are other post abortion resources listed on the Rachel's Vineyard web site, Another good site for resources is; this is the site of the Elliot Institute run by Dr. David Reardon. He is an amazing champion of post abortive people and their healing.

There are several books out that are collections of people's post abortion stories. Some of these stories include the relationship between abortions and alcohol/drug abuse. Some of those books are:

Real Abortion Stories, ed by Barbara Horak; Motherhood Interrupted, ed Jane Brennan; Redeeming a Father's Heart, ed Kevin Burke. There are many others.

I hope this helps in your work.

Susan Swander

How do I stop drinking?

If you're not an alcoholic, just don't drink.

If you are an alcoholic, find a recovery program like Alcoholics Anonymous. In most cities numbers for an AA Central Office are listed in the phone books. A call to such an office will help you find meetings close to where you live. They are offered all over the nation and will have the AA Big Book available.

Getting sober is not easy, but having the support of a program like AA greatly helps. I'm not sure that I would be sober today without the benefits of the AA program. Even at 23 years of sobriety, I still attend regular AA meetings.

Is my alcoholism connected to my abortion?

My short answer is yes. My longer explanation of why I believe that follows.

I discovered after attending a Rachel's Vineyard retreat that, in fact, my drinking and my abortions were very deeply connected. Although I drank before my first abortion, my drinking skyrocketed out of control after my first abortion. I was so drunk on the day of my 2nd abortion that to this day, many years later, I still have no real memory of that day.

For me it is not important to figure out if one "caused" the other. I just know they are very related. My early drinking was involved in my young promiscuity, which led to the first unplanned pregnancy and subsequent abortion. By the time I was pregnant the second time, my drinking had crossed into deep, dark alcoholism. When I was pressured to abort this child, I was so foggy I had no way to make a clear decision. And, even though I was sober when I had my third abortion, after so many years of craziness and foggy thinking, I caved in under pressure again and had the abortion.

Back to Forum List